the first step

Being a nomad wasn't something I planned on when I left home the first time.

In my mind, a young 19 year old girl, I just wanted to get out to make money quickly and go see India.

I'm still not sure til today why India was the country that pulled me so much, but that was my goal. I knew I needed at least 6 months in this foreign far away land.

but in order to do so I needed money. making money in Israel was always a tough thing. I was fortunate enough to hold a European passport as well, so my boyfriend at the time and I left for Scotland to try and make better money. It wasn't an easy deal in 2008, but I managed to save enough to sustain me in India for a while.

Scotland has brought with it other stuff too, it was my first time dealing with a proper winter- copious amount of rain, freezing -7 degrees (which for my sunny upbringing in Israel point of view was the kinda weather that only polar bears live in) and much sadness, as gray winters tend to bring with them. my boyfriend and I broke up on our way back to Israel.

I was determent to go to India though, but I was scared. I have never traveled alone before, let alone to a country so different, without even a common language. I was fortunate enough to get a proposal from a good friend of mine to meet up with his finish girlfriend in England and fly with her. that was all I needed. though I didn't know her, had no idea whether we will get along or not, all I needed was this extra tiny support and all my fears were gone.

soon enough I learned that the road isn't scary at all, it's a magical path full of surprises and synchronicity. all you have to do is trust.

But trust is a big issue for everyone. how can you trust that going to a new country is going to turn out alright? well, the only way to do it is to understand that everything in life will either turn out good or bad, it doesn't matter if you go on the road, or stay in your home country, go to school and get married. things could end up bad or good in both situations.

so why does the road still scare people more? I think its because of mistrust in our own powers and abilities to get ourselves through any situation. the ironic thing is that the situations that would make you understand how great you are in dealing with the surprises the world throws at you are easily found while traveling. It is without a doubt the best university there is. But unlike enrolling to Harvard or Yale, you need no special skills or high grades, all you need is to overcome the initial fear of "whats going to happened?" pack a backpack and go. the rest comes by itself.

growing up I was a shy girl, wouldn't talk to almost anybody besides my close group of friends, scared of asking questions, never believed that people will find me interesting and want to talk to me. It was the road who taught me my strengths, abilities and my worth. my friends who know me from the last 10 years do not believe I used to be shy.

from all the gifts I got on the road, that is my favorite one- my ability to fully trust because I know how strong I am.

Interestingly enough, when you lose the fears most of humanity have, you start developing other silly little fears. Ii wish i could say you learn to annihilate fears completely, but it isn't true, and fear is also an important part of life, though it isn't a very pleasant part, but it is one of the best teachers.

while going to a new country all alone where i know nobody, don't speak the language, and have almost no money in my pocket is nothing but a great adventure to me, being committed to a house for over a year with a 9-5 job is one of the scariest things I can think of. Having to build a close supporting community over and over again sounds to me like a lot of fun and a great opportunity to meet a lot of new best friends, but sitting in the same classroom in the same place for 4 years to do a degree I don't believe in is horrifying.

and cutting my hair was the biggest fear of all, funny enough. that one I just got over 2.5 weeks ago. but that deserves a whole post within itself.

trying to keep posts relatively short so people won't complain they have too much to read (seriously, that's one of the things that bum me out the most in this new electronic world)

so I'll finish here.